Rumi Reminds Us to Feel our Feelings

It is not "likely" or "probable" that something will happen to take us off course - it is guaranteed. It’s not whether we’ll be triggered into fear, blame, or powerlessness, but when. These feelings are not an indicator that something is wrong with us, that we're less spiritual, or that we're lacking something. It is a sign we are about to discover something or re-align with what it is we truly want.

To transform an emotion into authentic power you must witness to your feelings (don’t be tricked into thinking they are who you really are), but you have to feel them too. If you continue to think life should always be easy, or I should only focus on the positive feelings, you may feel great at the time, but spiritually you will not make as much progress as when you witness and experience your feelings.

I cannot say it better than Rumi does in his poem “The Question”

One dervish to another,
“What was your vision of god’s presence?”
I haven’t seen anything.
But for the sake of conversation, I’ll tell you a story.
God’s presence is there in front of me,
a fire on the left,
a lovely stream on the right.
One group walks toward the fire, into the fire,
another toward the sweet flowing water.
No one knows which are blessed
and which not.
Whoever walks into the fire
appears suddenly in the stream.
A head goes under on the water surface,
that head pokes out of the fire.
Most people guard against going into the fire,
and so end up in it.
Those who love the water of pleasure
and make it their devotion
are cheated with this reversal.
The trickery goes further.
The voice of the fire tells the truth, saying
“I am not fire.I am fountainhead.
Come into me and don’t mind the sparks.”
If you are a friend of God,
fire is your water.
You should wish to have
a hundred thousand sets of moth wings,
so you could burn them away, one set a night.
The moth sees light
and goes into fire.
You should see fire
and go toward light.
Fire is what of God is world-consuming.
Water, world-protecting.
Somehow each gives the appearance of the other.
To these eyes you have now,
what looks like water burns.
What looks like fire
is a great relief to be inside.

What insight do you receive from Rumi’s words?

Judgment: How It Can Help You

I have noticed that some people do not like the word Judgment. We often think that it is not part of our natural state of Peace & Love, and that it needs to be erased from our consciousness. But I believe it can play a positive role in our lives

I've found 3 ways to use Judgment to gain more Peace & Joy:

1. Judgment helps us choose: It can be very helpful to know what you don't want - to rule that out and move towards what you do. Don’t be afraid to say "I don't really like that. I prefer _____." Without any judgment at all, everything from buying groceries to setting lifestyle intentions becomes nearly impossible. Knowing what is most important to us, and choosing one thing over another is a good thing.

2. Judgment helps us let go: During moments of nostalgia and/or anxiety about relationships that have ended, remind yourself why you are now choosing something else. By adding a small dose of judgment, you'll be more likely to remember the situation broadly and objectively instead of wistfully reminiscing about individual memories. It can help in the moving-on process to articulate the deal-breaker that you will not choose again.

3. Judgment helps us see red-flags: Perhaps a situation is triggering your sensitive issues, but maybe, just maybe, there is something about the situation that isn't right for you and your Judgment is letting you know. When you feel judgment coming up, it can be a signal to check-in before proceeding further. Sometimes you'll discover you want to proceed, other times not.

How to Know When Something Is Right for You

There is not one Golden Path for everyone. If a person or group says “this is the path that will get you the furthest,” be wary. It’s important to choose your teachers and mentors wisely by listening to your own guidance and not just following the newest trend. Answers lie inside you. So, how can we consistently access our own answers and stay mindful of how we can trick ourselves into only hearing what we want to hear?

Here are 5 ideas to consider and practice.

1. Ask your body what she thinks. Talk to your body as if she were a collaborator on the decision and bounce some ideas off of her. She may already have ideas on what to eat and how to exercise, but she probably also has opinions on how to spend money, which event to attend, and what to say to that very important person in your life.

2. Ask yourself: "Would I want this action to become a habit?" We are constantly programming ourselves for the future. Doing something once or twice makes it easier to do 20 times, and can set up "autopilots" and future habits. We can use this to our advantage by making a very conscious choice the first or second time we do something. However if we decide to eat lots of refined sugar in a week, it makes it harder to get back to a healthy diet the week after.

3. Ask yourself: "What decision would I make if no one would ever find out either way?" This can help clear out some of the exterior reasons you may be choosing something and let you see what just you will be getting out of it. Exterior reasons are not a negative thing, but you may also have your own reasons, benefits, and inspiration.

4. Remember, no one thing can seal your fate. No move is permanently right or wrong You will always have another choice to make. Sometimes dramatic thinking can lead to unnecessary pressure and then reaction in fear. So remind yourself that you are simply choosing something you would like to experience; a preference, not something that is inherently good, bad, right, or wrong.

5. Get Quiet. It's the oldest one in the book for a reason. Whenever you can, give yourself an extra minute, hour, or day to make the decision. Say "Can I get back to you about that?" And then don't sit down to write a list of pros and cons, but find a moment in that extra time to be quiet and listen for your guidance. It is usually ready and waiting for a chance to be heard.... and for its advice to be followed!