3 ideas for Stress Relief

1. Be still and Remember Your Feminine Power. Take some time to be still and breathe. Imagine flowing energy into your lower belly. You hold the power to create your own experiences, and when you rest in your body, you can feel more of your authentic feminine power.

2. Talk About It. When you are aware that you are overwhelmed you are less likely to make unconscious decisions, and more likely to honor your true needs. Find someone that you can share openly and authentically with. Let it out. Constantly holding your feeling back may indeed be the source of much stress. Being truly heard by a great friend, an empowering counselor, a life coach, or a trained phone-therapist is sometimes enough to help us move through the stressful moment.

3. Move Your Body. Get those endorphins flowing, even if it is just a short walk, or a few stretches. Yes, you do have time to exercise. When you move your body, your mind starts to quieten. You sleep better and feel more vital.

Rumi Reminds Us to Feel our Feelings

It is not "likely" or "probable" that something will happen to take us off course - it is guaranteed. It’s not whether we’ll be triggered into fear, blame, or powerlessness, but when. These feelings are not an indicator that something is wrong with us, that we're less spiritual, or that we're lacking something. It is a sign we are about to discover something or re-align with what it is we truly want.

To transform an emotion into authentic power you must witness to your feelings (don’t be tricked into thinking they are who you really are), but you have to feel them too. If you continue to think life should always be easy, or I should only focus on the positive feelings, you may feel great at the time, but spiritually you will not make as much progress as when you witness and experience your feelings.

I cannot say it better than Rumi does in his poem “The Question”

One dervish to another,
“What was your vision of god’s presence?”
I haven’t seen anything.
But for the sake of conversation, I’ll tell you a story.
God’s presence is there in front of me,
a fire on the left,
a lovely stream on the right.
One group walks toward the fire, into the fire,
another toward the sweet flowing water.
No one knows which are blessed
and which not.
Whoever walks into the fire
appears suddenly in the stream.
A head goes under on the water surface,
that head pokes out of the fire.
Most people guard against going into the fire,
and so end up in it.
Those who love the water of pleasure
and make it their devotion
are cheated with this reversal.
The trickery goes further.
The voice of the fire tells the truth, saying
“I am not fire.I am fountainhead.
Come into me and don’t mind the sparks.”
If you are a friend of God,
fire is your water.
You should wish to have
a hundred thousand sets of moth wings,
so you could burn them away, one set a night.
The moth sees light
and goes into fire.
You should see fire
and go toward light.
Fire is what of God is world-consuming.
Water, world-protecting.
Somehow each gives the appearance of the other.
To these eyes you have now,
what looks like water burns.
What looks like fire
is a great relief to be inside.

What insight do you receive from Rumi’s words?

Judgment: How It Can Help You

I have noticed that some people do not like the word Judgment. We often think that it is not part of our natural state of Peace & Love, and that it needs to be erased from our consciousness. But I believe it can play a positive role in our lives

I've found 3 ways to use Judgment to gain more Peace & Joy:

1. Judgment helps us choose: It can be very helpful to know what you don't want - to rule that out and move towards what you do. Don’t be afraid to say "I don't really like that. I prefer _____." Without any judgment at all, everything from buying groceries to setting lifestyle intentions becomes nearly impossible. Knowing what is most important to us, and choosing one thing over another is a good thing.

2. Judgment helps us let go: During moments of nostalgia and/or anxiety about relationships that have ended, remind yourself why you are now choosing something else. By adding a small dose of judgment, you'll be more likely to remember the situation broadly and objectively instead of wistfully reminiscing about individual memories. It can help in the moving-on process to articulate the deal-breaker that you will not choose again.

3. Judgment helps us see red-flags: Perhaps a situation is triggering your sensitive issues, but maybe, just maybe, there is something about the situation that isn't right for you and your Judgment is letting you know. When you feel judgment coming up, it can be a signal to check-in before proceeding further. Sometimes you'll discover you want to proceed, other times not.

How to Know When Something Is Right for You

There is not one Golden Path for everyone. If a person or group says “this is the path that will get you the furthest,” be wary. It’s important to choose your teachers and mentors wisely by listening to your own guidance and not just following the newest trend. Answers lie inside you. So, how can we consistently access our own answers and stay mindful of how we can trick ourselves into only hearing what we want to hear?

Here are 5 ideas to consider and practice.

1. Ask your body what she thinks. Talk to your body as if she were a collaborator on the decision and bounce some ideas off of her. She may already have ideas on what to eat and how to exercise, but she probably also has opinions on how to spend money, which event to attend, and what to say to that very important person in your life.

2. Ask yourself: "Would I want this action to become a habit?" We are constantly programming ourselves for the future. Doing something once or twice makes it easier to do 20 times, and can set up "autopilots" and future habits. We can use this to our advantage by making a very conscious choice the first or second time we do something. However if we decide to eat lots of refined sugar in a week, it makes it harder to get back to a healthy diet the week after.

3. Ask yourself: "What decision would I make if no one would ever find out either way?" This can help clear out some of the exterior reasons you may be choosing something and let you see what just you will be getting out of it. Exterior reasons are not a negative thing, but you may also have your own reasons, benefits, and inspiration.

4. Remember, no one thing can seal your fate. No move is permanently right or wrong You will always have another choice to make. Sometimes dramatic thinking can lead to unnecessary pressure and then reaction in fear. So remind yourself that you are simply choosing something you would like to experience; a preference, not something that is inherently good, bad, right, or wrong.

5. Get Quiet. It's the oldest one in the book for a reason. Whenever you can, give yourself an extra minute, hour, or day to make the decision. Say "Can I get back to you about that?" And then don't sit down to write a list of pros and cons, but find a moment in that extra time to be quiet and listen for your guidance. It is usually ready and waiting for a chance to be heard.... and for its advice to be followed!

The Importance of Morning Ritual

If you did a practice every morning that made you feel centered, joyful, and eager to take on action that is important to you, would it create a bigger impact on your day? You bet it would! That is why I am a huge advocate of creating a morning ritual that puts me and my clients a great state. It brings up resistance for some, as you can imagine. Some of the things I’ve heard include, “I don’t have time.” “I don’t want to get up any earlier.” “I need to check email first thing in the morning.” Here’s what Amanda Griffith, one of the ladies participating in the Feminine Spirituality and Leadership Program has to say about her resistance.

“To say I am not a big fan of routine is putting it lightly. Doing the same thing the same way every time - that's for boring people, right? I wrestle with this dichotomy as I build my morning routine. Can I create real space in my mornings for Spirit? Can I trust that the space will soon be filled with joy and pleasure? Today, will I choose the familiar comfort of my silky flat pillow or the unknown mystery of what might happen if I go to meet my Body and Spirit out in the field where only they know the rules, where I must simply follow along? I am tickled and challenged and inspired by the idea of a “routine” where I have no idea what will happen....!”

For a powerful morning ritual, I recommend it include 3 things.
1. Gratitude and seeing your best day (Mind)
Make a list in your mind or on paper of what and who you are most grateful for and feel the love and joy fill your body. When you are in a grateful state, see in your mind eye what your best day could look like and be open to it being even better than you could imagine.

2. Movement (Body)
Do at least 20 minutes of exercise that gets your heart rate up and has you break into a sweat. This is not time for a stroll. Get those endorphins activated!

3. Meditation or time with God or Spirit. (Spirit)
In this time you are not planning your to-do list in your mind, or setting your intentions for the day. This is time to be quiet and let the mind rest into the present moment. In that present moment, be with God in any way that feels good to you.

You can include these three things anyway you want and the length of your ritual can be any length. Mine usually takes 1 – 1 ½ hours, and I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

How about trying it for just 14 days and see how you feel at the end of it? Then decide whether it will really make a difference in your life and emotional well-being. Let me know if any resistance comes up.

Quick Tip on Developing a Magnetic Presence

We all tend to project personal qualities we want others to think we have. For example, “I want to be seen as sweet and lovely” or “I want to be seen as smart and capable.” We may actually have some of these qualities, but when we project our energy outwards and do not “stay home” in our bodies, we have less presence. People notice when we try too hard. When you stop projecting and are just “home in your skin,” people will want to connect with you. They will unconsciously feel there is room to come towards you, versus being uncomfortable or slightly repelled by your energy. For most women reading this tip today, the difference between “being home” and projecting a forced sense of confidence or presence is very subtle. Be aware of that subtlety this week.

Practice walking from point A to point B projecting the quality that you most often project. After a minute, switch to walking with your attention on your lower belly, imagining that you are slightly leaning back into your body and not projecting anything. Feel the difference.

Let me know if this tip was helpful and if you have any questions.

How to Stop Others From Draining You

Do you feel that some people drain your energy and others leave you feeling full and loved? You are not imagining it. Neither are you alone in this. Many people are not aware of how their energetic fields affect those around them, therefore they drain others, are constantly drained by others, or both. It’s (usually) not that they consciously want to cause anyone harm, they just don’t understand what is happening. We fall prey to it because we don’t know or remember to protect ourselves.

I’ve heard teachers in the past say you have to protect yourself by imagining you are surrounded by an invisible armor of some sort. Some say you have to protect yourself by not being around the person at all and guarding your heart and body from their tentacles that want to come in and feed off your light and joy. Here is something I’ve found that works brilliantly for me. This practice does not just protect me; it feels good. I call it “Unguarded Protection.” It’s one of the 44 practices we teach in The E-Spot Experience: The Art of Feminine Presence™. I can keep my heart open, my mind open, and my body open while I am in the presence of this person, and be comfortable. It even tends to transform them so they do not feel the unconscious need to drain me in the first place.

The first part of this practice is to “be inside” your body by bringing your attention to the center point of your pelvis. When your attention is here it centers you and helps you be present and “in the moment.” When you inhabit your pelvis no one else can get in there. It’s like a baseball player running to the next base. If he is on that base no one else can get on, technically, at least.
Many of us “jump out of our body” when we feel as though someone wants to attack us or intimidate us with their projected sense of power, or look at us with predatory, sexual energy. It’s critical that we stay in our bodies. Keep bringing your attention to the sensations inside your pelvis to ground you. I often say to myself, “I’m home, so no one else is getting in here.”

Next, feel your energetic “light globe” around your body. What I mean is feel your energetic presence that surrounds you and extends out a little past an arms length. Fill this light globe with sparkles of light, and notice where the edge of your light globe is.

When I simulate someone coming into one of my student’s energy fields and draining them, and the student responds by staying “home” in their pelvis with their “light globe” shining brightly, an amazing thing happens every time. The person trying to drain the other energetically steps back, feeling the love coming from the student. There is a level of respect that wasn’t there before. The student feels only love towards that person, with no fear of being drained. It’s profound. This is why after a couple of years of practice I hardly have anyone trying to drain me anymore. I just don’t attract it.
With your attention on both of these points—being “home” in your pelvis and turning on your “light globe”— you can stay protected from people who drain you or have predatory energy. You never have to close your heart down, or defend your body by shutting yourself off to your own radiance and joy. You can stay big, bright, and open when you have this practice at hand. It’s all about practice.